Frequently Asked Questions

You may have questions about the adoption process. Here are some frequently asked questions about adoption.

  1. HOW LONG DO ADOPTIONS TAKE?
  2. HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO DECIDE ABOUT THE PLACEMENT?
  3. WHAT DOES SURRENDER MEAN?
  4. CAN I GET THE BABY BACK AFTER I SIGN THE SURRENDER AND THE REVOKE PERIOD HAS EXPIRED?
  5. DOES THE BIRTHFATHER HAVE RIGHTS? WHAT IF I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE BIRTHFATHER IS OR WHO THE BIRTHFATHER IS?
  6. CAN I RECEIVE FINANCIAL HELP DURING MY PREGNANCY?
  7. AN ATTORNEY OR A FACILITATOR?
  8. DOES AN ATTORNEY ALWAYS HAVE TO BE INVOLVED?
  9. DOES AN AGENCY ALWAYS HAVE TO BE INVOLVED?
  10. CAN I ASK FOR A CERTAIN TYPE OF ADOPTIVE FAMILY?
  11. WHO DECIDES HOW OPEN THE ADOPTION WILL BE?
  12. CAN I NAME THE BABY?
  13. DO I HAVE TO MEET WITH OR TALK WITH THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY?
  14. WHAT IS A MEDICAL RELEASE FORM AND A HIPPA AGREEMENT?
  15. CAN RECREATIONAL DRUGS AND ALCOHOL HARM MY BABY? WHAT ABOUT CIGARETTES?
  16. I HAVE USED DRUGS AND ALCOHOL THROUGHOUT MY PREGNANCY AND THE DOCTOR HAS TOLD ME THAT THIS BABY MAY BE BORN WITH DEFECTS. IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO WILL WANT TO ADOPT THIS BABY?
  17. CAN MY ADOPTION BE COMPLETELY CONFIDENTIAL?

  1. HOW LONG DO ADOPTIONS TAKE?

    Adoptions vary in time, depending on your state laws. Once the first contact is made with the adoptive family you have chosen, all other arrangements (financial, legal, counseling, etc.) will begin for you. When your child is born, and you have signed necessary legal paperwork (either with an attorney, agency worker or a court), the legal issues are completed on your part. You can then move ahead and resume your life plans. Back to the top.

  2. HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO DECIDE ABOUT THE PLACEMENT?

    The decision to place your child for adoption is always your decision.

    However, if you change your mind after you place your baby, you then have the time limit allowed by the state in which you gave birth. Some states take surrenders as soon as twelve hours after the baby is born, while some states have a longer period until surrenders are taken. At this time, all adoptions are state-regulated, which means that they follow laws specifically for the state in which the baby is born and/or that state where the adoptive family lives. Back to the top.

  3. WHAT DOES SURRENDER MEAN?

    Surrender is the legal paperwork stating that on your own free will you have decided to relinquish your parental rights. Depending on the state, you may surrender your baby to an agency, to the adoptive family or to an attorney. The baby will almost always leave the hospital with the adoptive family, but the state may still require that the agency name be on the surrender paperwork. Some states will have you sign this paperwork at the hospital, at the agency, or at a lawyer's office, while other states will require you to sign before a judge. In some states you will have a revoke period (the time you have to change your mind about placing your child) after signing. In other states, there is no revoke period. Back to the top.

  4. CAN I GET THE BABY BACK AFTER I SIGN THE SURRENDER AND THE REVOKE PERIOD HAS EXPIRED?

    In most cases, you will have to hire an attorney to help you at your own expense. You will have to prove that when you signed the surrender you were ñunder duress.î Under duress means that someone was physically or emotionally abusing you and forcing you to sign the surrender. Back to the top.

  5. DOES THE BIRTHFATHER HAVE RIGHTS? WHAT IF I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE BIRTHFATHER IS OR WHO THE BIRTHFATHER IS?

    Yes, the birthfather has rights. If you know the birthfather and know how to find him, the adoption plan needs to be discussed with him. You don't have to talk to him - the agency or an attorney can talk to him if you are uncomfortable doing so. But in most states, the birthfather has all the same rights to this child as you do. This may seem unfair, as you are the one going through the pregnancy, but it is the law. Most times, even if the birthfather initially seems reluctant, he will eventually agree to let your adoption plan move forward. Birthfathers often want to make sure the child has the kind of opportunities they are unable to provide at this time. At the very least, a birthfather may simply want to avoid the expense of paying child support, or the criminal prosecution which will occur if they refuse to pay support.

    If you cannot find the birthfather, or if you are not sure who the father is, the usual legal process is to publish a notice in the newspaper letting any potential birthfathers know that you are making an adoption plan. If they do not respond in a certain amount of time (usually a few weeks), then the court can have his rights terminated. Back to the top.

  6. CAN I RECEIVE FINANCIAL HELP DURING MY PREGNANCY?

    Financial help for a birthmother is regulated by the state in which you have your baby. In some states, the adoptive family is allowed to pay for all pregnancy related needs, as well as some funds after delivery to help you get back on your feet. In other states, only medical and legal expenses can be paid. In some states, no expenses can be paid. Back to the top.

  7. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN USING AN AGENCY, AN ATTORNEY OR A FACILITATOR?

    An adoption agency is usually like ñone-stop shopping,î which can be a plus. The agency can provide you with waiting adoptive family profiles, set you up with counseling, arrange for certain expenses to be paid, and connect you with an attorney.

    Attorneys may often practice some other kind of law besides just adoption law, and this may be a hindrance. They often do not understand the emotional side of adoption. However, they are usually great advocates for birthparents and know the laws in the states where they practice.

    Facilitators are more like matchmakers, in that they set up the match between birthparents and adoptive parents, but don't always handle a lot of other adoption issues well. They usually work with a much smaller group of birthparents than agencies. Many facilitators are adoptive parents themselves. Back to the top.

  8. DOES AN ATTORNEY ALWAYS HAVE TO BE INVOLVED?

    In almost every case, an attorney will have to be involved. Since adoption is a legal issue, there must always be legal representation for birthparents. In most cases, the adoptive family also has their own attorney. Back to the top.

  9. DOES AN AGENCY ALWAYS HAVE TO BE INVOLVED?

    Some states have laws that make them ñagency driven.î This means that every part of the adoption must be done with an agency's assistance. You would still have the ability to work with an attorney or facilitator, but they will need to find an agency to work with them as well. There are only a handful of states that have this rule. Back to the top.

  10. CAN I ASK FOR A CERTAIN TYPE OF ADOPTIVE FAMILY?

    Absolutely! It is really important that you are comfortable with your choice of adoptive family. This will help you feel at peace when you place your baby for adoption. The good news is there are many families looking to adopt, so you will usually have a good number of families to choose from. Back to the top.

  11. WHO DECIDES HOW OPEN THE ADOPTION WILL BE?

    This is your choice. As you begin your adoption journey, you may not be sure about what kind of openness you want. It may become clearer after you are matched with a family. The more you educate yourself ahead of time, the better it will be for you. This is your life and your baby. You need to make choices that are thoughtful and that you can live with through the years.

    Some states will actually put your adoption agreement with the family in writing. In most states, this agreement is not legally binding. This is why it is good to be as clear with yourself and with the adoptive family as possible.

    Open Adoption is becoming more and more common in the world of adoption. Open adoption means that you have some kind of contact with the family before the adoption, and possibly some contact after as well. Open adoption can go from being really, really open to being only sort of open. It is a good thing for you to think hard about what kind of openness you would like, if you want to have an open adoption.

    A fully open adoption will look something like this: You will be given a choice of waiting adoptive families and you will choose the family you like the best. You will have a chance to get to know them before you baby is born, and you will exchange identifying information with the family - such as last names, addresses and phone numbers. After placement, you will be able to contact the family directly, without an agency or attorney in the middle. This doesn't necessarily mean that you will have ongoing visits with the family and your child. It just means that you and the adoptive family feel comfortable with one another and trust each other enough to stay in direct contact throughout the years.

    A semi open adoption is probably more common. In this scenario, you will also have the chance to choose the adoptive family for your baby. You will likely have some contact prior to birth and at the hospital. After the placement of your baby, that contact will diminish. You will likely get pictures of your child and update letters one or two times a year, and most often these will be sent via your agency or attorney. Sometimes both birthparents and adoptive parents choose this kind of adoption to start, and then decide that they would like to move towards a more open adoption as they begin to get to know each other better or trust each other more. Other times, both birthparents and adoptive parents find that this semi-open situation gives everyone general contact, while allowing people to move more easily forward with their own lives.

    A closed adoption is the least common plan these days. In a closed adoption, the birthparents will generally have the agency choose an adoptive family, and the birthparents will never meet them or talk to them, even in the hospital. The family is given medical and background information about the birthparents, but nothing else. While this is not common, a birthparent may choose this route when circumstances surrounding the pregnancy are difficult (such as in a rape, or if the birthparent is married to another partner), and when they feel this is the best choice for both themselves and the baby. Again, a birthparent may choose this kind of adoption to start, and then decide they would like to meet the family and get some kind of regular updates about their child. Back to the top.

    Bottom line: EDUCATE YOURSELF!

  12. CAN I NAME THE BABY?

    You have control over what goes on the original birth certificate for your baby. Even if you have names that the adoptive family does not intend to keep, you can put these names on the birth certificate. Sometimes birthparents and adoptive parents collaborate on a name. Sometimes birthparents choose to use the same name on the birth certificate as the adoptive parents will be using. The original birth certificate is in your control. However, the adoptive family may choose to use other names entirely when they raise the baby. Back to the top.

  13. DO I HAVE TO MEET WITH OR TALK WITH THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY?

    Again, this is your choice. We suggest that you talk with the adoptive family at least once. This can be done via a conference call, and can be completely confidential. You only have to share your first name, and the call is set up by the agency, so no telephone numbers have to be shared. Many birthparents enjoy talking with the adoptive families because knowing more about them helps you to be sure about your adoption decision. Back to the top.

  14. WHAT IS A MEDICAL RELEASE FORM AND A HIPPA AGREEMENT?

    A medical release form is a document you signed which gives permission for the agency, attorney or facilitator to gain access to you medical records with regard to your pregnancy. All of this medical information by law must be shared with the adoptive family. A HIPPA agreement is similar. It gives the agency, attorney or facilitator the permission to discuss the status of your health with all those involved in the adoption plan. Back to the top.

  15. CAN RECREATIONAL DRUGS AND ALCOHOL HARM MY BABY? WHAT ABOUT CIGARETTES?

    If you stop your use of drugs and/or alcohol early in your pregnancy, the risk is reduced significantly. If the use continues, it can lead to long-term disabilities for the child. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome comes from drinking during pregnancy. Cigarette smoking can lead to a lower birth weight for the baby, as well as lung problems. Frequently, babies of heavy smokers have a difficult time right after birth because they are actually withdrawing from nicotine. There has not been good test results made yet regarding the effects of marijuana, but it is believed to be less harmful than alcohol and other drugs. If you are a birthmother on a methadone maintenance program, it is generally not recommended that you stop methadone during your pregnancy. Babies who are born with methadone in their system sometimes do have a difficult detoxification after birth, but it is less risky for the baby than detoxing while you are pregnant. The best thing is to be honest with your medical provider so that every effort can be made to help both you and your child get through the pregnancy safely and healthily. Back to the top.

  16. I HAVE USED DRUGS AND ALCOHOL THROUGHOUT MY PREGNANCY AND THE DOCTOR HAS TOLD ME THAT THIS BABY MAY BE BORN WITH DEFECTS. IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO WILL WANT TO ADOPT THIS BABY?

    Yes, there are always couples willing to adopt a child with special needs. Many of these people have special training in working with special needs babies. Back to the top.

  17. CAN MY ADOPTION BE COMPLETELY CONFIDENTIAL?

    Absolutely. Even if you are a minor, many states will allow you to place a child for adoption without parental consent. Back to the top.

Always remember:
YOU HAVE CHOICES
THERE IS A WAY OUT OF EVERY DIFFICULT SITUATION

Please do not hesitate to email us or call us. Mary, Sharon, Robin and Bridgette are ready to offer support. 1-800-450-7191